Monthly Archives: January 2008

Remembering anniversaries…….

Two years ago, today, I submitted my Master’s thesis. As of today I am still unsure as the whether I have passed or if I have failed. I am not suggesting that closing has slowed some things down in my department but I am sort of getting bored of waiting…

I also realised that for the second year running I have forgotten my wib-birthday which was a couple of weeks ago. I was three. 😀

Wanting something to procrastinate from…..

I am at work and I am bored. Now these two things are not really that unusual, what makes them so though, is the fact that I’m bored because I HAVE NOTHING TO DO!!!! Or rather, I have a little bit of work to do, but I need The Boss to tell me what is needed and he’s away till sixteen-hundred hours. That’ll also be when he’ll tell me what I’m doing tomorrow.

So until then I’m procrastinating, or would be if I had something to procrastinate from. Because I don’t.

And this is slowly driving me crazy!!!!

Damned to burn in the deepest, hottest and worse pit of Hell……

Which describes the final resting place of all who are involved in the insurance business.

As you may have gathered I, finally, got to speak to someone at the insurers about my missing car and it works like this. If I expect compensation for my car being stolen, they will double my current insurance. If I want to claim any of the content that were in the car (my camping gear), they will double my premiums.

In other words, this insurance, which the law says I have to have, has proved to be totally useless to me because if I try to claim for anything, what with the fact that that’s why I have this “theft” clause in my insurance, they will actually take more money off me to keep covering me, than what I get. In fact, as the guy on the phone told me, unless I’m claiming more than nine hundred pounds, it’s not worth me claiming.

At this point you may insert rude words, which I shall no doubt be using whenever I think of these so called people.

Scraping the barrel……

Which is the otherway to describe most of the programmes on ITV. A prime example of this is Dancing On Ice. For people who might be unfamiliar with the programme (oh lucky people) ITV have basically stolen the idea behind the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing and have put it on ice.

And this is where the flaw is.

You see, if you’re dancing on the ground, like they do on the BBC, those that are quite good to start with can get very good indeed. Sure, you get a few muppets like Willie Thorne or Kenny Logan but you can get some amazing dancers like Alesha, Gethen or Baby Spice. With Dancing On Ice the “dancers” always look like they are. Totally out of their depth.

It is quite sad when you can go to the ice rink at 5am and see skaters who will never be more than amatures and still skate better than those that ITV are parading on primetime weekend television.

I can remember channel-hopping onto this cursed programme last season and being honestly impressed with the pair on the ice. It then turned out that this pair was in fact Torvill and Dean showing us how it’s done. Hopefully, next year ITV will realise that you can’t take a dozen celebs and expect them to be able to look as good as the celebs on BBC. If they want decent figure skating, go to those skaters that are at the rinks in the wee small hours of the morning and give them a chance.

For starters, they know how to skate.

As a side note, they had some of the European Figure Skating Championships on BBC2 at lunchtime. They know how to skate as well!!

There are many a strange thing to be seen…..

Yesterday I was working in London as can be seen by the photo:


As you can tell. London.

Now I have worked in this area of London before and as an indication to the amazing camoflage effect of black/white stripes, I passed this tank three times before I spotted it. This is why I’ll never be in the army. If I can’t spot a tank from twenty yards away….


There may be points* for those who can tell me where in London this is and for whether the painting of the children dancing around the explosion is a Banksy or not.

* – points have a cash redeemable value of 0.000001p

Missing – one car…….

Got home this evening from work and there was something missing from the end of the drive…. my car. Not the new one, I pick that up on Saturday, but the old one that I was going to be taking off for scrap this weekend.

While I suppose you could say that the little buggers have helped me out by removing a car that I was going to have to get rid of myself, it would have been nice if they had left the tents and my waterproofs.

And boy am I pissed off at my insurance company…. I call up to report this theft, listen to Sinatra and then when I finally got through there was no-one there. I could hear chatting in the background but no matter how loud I shouted “hello” no-one replied. Then it clicked off. When I tried calling again I simply got the message; “The office is now closed, please try calling, blah, blah, blah…….

So, if anyone sees my car, please call the police.

In the news today……

There were some very funny stories on BBCi today, including;

Dog Leash Goth Hounded Off Bus,
Three Little Pigs Too Offensive,
Man Attacked By Croc And Then Shot.

I found the first story slightly amusing simply because it involve Goths, and Goths/Real World is always amusing.

I was shocked at the the second story which just shows high truely how up it’s own PC arse some government organisations have truely become. I’m waiting for Cinderella to be banned because it might upset Ugly Sisters, or Little Red Riding Hood, after all, Wolves come out rather bad in that story.

The last story just had my in stitches, especially the line; Crocodile attacks and shootings are rare in Australia. To suffer both at once is – to say the least – unfortunate.

I’m going to watch Newsnight now… I hope Paxman is finding his gussets a bit more supportive now…

Around once again…..

I received an email this afternoon from a friend and my first response to opening it, before I had even scrolled down through all the past FW:’s was to delete it. For a very, very simple reason.

It’s a modern day chain letter.

The way these newer ones work is to, as opposed to the old ones where you would die within one day/two days/a week of not sending several copies on, is to suggest that if you don’t warn everyone on your address list you are a terrible friend. Because if you don’t warn them and they end up with this deadly computer virus, of which there is no cure, well, it’s your fault.

After all, “it’s better to receive this 100 times than lose everything at once!!!!!!

This particular email goes on to warn:

Please Be Extremely Careful especially if using internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on.

This information arrived this morning direct from both Microsoft and Norton.

Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet.
You may receive an apparently harmless email with a Power Point presentation
‘Life is beautiful.’

If you receive it DO NOT OPEN THE FILE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, and delete it immediately.
If you open this file, a message will appear on your screen saying:

‘It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful.’

Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC and the person who sent it to you will gain access to your name, e-mail and password.

This is a new virus which started to circulate on Saturday afternoon. AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the antivirus softwares are not capable of destroying it. The virus has been created by a hacker who calls himself ‘life owner.’



On the off chance I googled “life is beautiful virus” and guess what. Not only is it a hoax (shock horror) but it even has it’s own wiki page!!

So from hence forth I wish not to be sent any warnings about anything. Nor do I believe that microsoft/AOL are testing some sort of email tracking system and that if I forward an email I’ll get $5 for each one I send. If some poor child in Afric/Asia/Eastern Europe/South America is in desperate need of a kidney/school/home I WILL NOT believe you if you tell me that a company has promised to pay however much for each name on a petition.

And no, I’d rather not get this a hundred times.

Among the things I did today….

Today day I bought my second car, the first having reached the end of it’s life.

It’s very nice, and I’ll be picking it up next Saturday when I hand over the four thousand pounds that I now owe the car dealership.

Just as well really. I have a lot of driving up, down and across the country in the next couple of months.

Can anybody find me, somebody to love……….

It’s a great Queen song but I’m really looking for a reason to put up a couple more Em cartoons from thelondonpaper.

fairly unattractive

Now I will admit to the fact that I have been tempted to ask that very question myself on a couple of occasions, but I’ve always chickened out, partly because I’m a coward and partly I don’t really want to recieve the, “Because… er.. er.. because.. erm…” answer. I’m not that difficult/fussy to find someone for surely…??

Though, of course, the really, really scary answer would be, “Well, how about *insert name here*…???” Because that’s then really just putting you on the spot.

set up

Thankfully I live far enough away from everyone that coming round for dinner with a group of friends (just like in Notting Hill*) isn’t really a risk that I have to fear… at least not yet. I’m sure that once they are all settled and married – by the way things are going, sometime next year – I may then start getting a bit more attention as people decide that I have had enough of the free and single life and it’s my time to settle down.

Though that would of course be cruel… I mean, how much would you have to dislike someone to want to set them up with me!!!

* – I feel it’s important to compare myself to movie stars… especially when they usually play bumbling (very much like bimbling) english gents.